Music

The most amazing thing occurred the other night as I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I was thinking about music (which is probably why I couldn't fall asleep) and had the most marvelous revelation.
To all and any of you who have ever had the opportunity to sing in a choir setting, you will understand. You know that feeling you get when the whole choir is singing together and everyone just seems to connect to the song? (I like to call these music "highs"). That feeling of everyone becoming one and you feel as if you are a part of something bigger than yourself?
The revelation I had is that Zion is supposed to feel exactly the same way. The "music high" is what Zion is supposed to be. To become as one, with one purpose.... of one heart and one mind.
With this new revelation comes a new understanding of what Zion is to me. I have a new desire to help the Lord prepare Zion for his second coming. Because if that same feeling I get a glimpse of while singing is the same feeling Zion will have... then I cannot wait until that day! Only, we can't just sit and wait around for that profound and glorious day... we must help the Lord prepare Zion. He will not come again until we establish it for Him.
If you now find a new meaning in what Zion is, I urge you to study more on the subject. Find out your PERSONAL mission that the Lord has for you in building up His kingdom. I found mine by reading a book on temples. I read about 2 chapters on the bus everyday on the way to and from school. I finished it yesterday. While sitting and reading I came across a glorious passage and KNEW what the Lord has planned for me. The spirit was so strong and I could not help but cry (and yes, there were other people on the bus). I know what the Lord has planned for me to help establish Zion. If you don't know yet, search, ponder, and pray what the Lord's will is for you. It may take time before you receive your answer, but he WILL answer you!

Have you ever wondered why, when it seems like you are doing whats right, your on the right path, and you can feel yourself getting closer to God - that temptations seem to get stronger and more frequent?
I have experienced this numerous times. It makes you feel almost as if the temptations are there because you're really not doing as well as you thought, that you are somehow unclean, unworthy. ERRRR!!! Wrong answer. Try again.
My loving father gave this analogy at a family gathering one night on our cabin trip...

You are standing facing the sun, with your shadow behind you. You start walking towards the sun. What happens? Wouldn't you know that your shadow actually starts to grow bigger! The closer you get the longer it stretches out- sometimes almost even becoming bigger than you actually are.
But there is a changing point in this formula if you continue to walk towards the sun. Once you hit this point, your shadow starts to get smaller. Now instead of the shadow growing bigger as you get closer to the sun, it starts to diminish, until you reach a point that you are close enough to the sun that your shadow is gone completely.

Now talking in terms of the gospel, the sun is Heavenly Father and the shadow is temptation. When we first start taking those steps towards Him a little emergency flash goes off in Satan's workshop. It says "WARNING! WARNING! Anna has taken three steps closer to the Sun! Act accordingly. Pronto!"

So little old Satan comes a creeping up behind us throwing all sorts of tricks and deceptions at us. If we give in, stop taking steps towards the Sun or even take a step or two back, Satan isn't so worried anymore and he leaves us alone for a while. But again, as we start to take steps closer to the Sun, Satan comes back. As we continue to take steps forward despite Satan's attempts to stop us, he starts to really get worried and he starts throwing harder temptations at us at a faster rate. The closer we get the more desperate he becomes. He'll stop at nothing to get us to halt our progression!

But, in the end, light is stronger than darkness, isn't it. If we continue to press forward, Satan's power diminishes until finally it can no longer touch us nor be seen. That isn't to say that trials will disappear. Trials are a part of Heavenly Father's tool kit. He uses them to mold us, make us stronger, humble us, teach us, to give us experience. So while temptations may become smaller and not as much as a struggle, it doesn't mean our lives are free of pain and heartache and struggle.

As myself speaking, I feel temptation is Satan's tool and trials are Heavenly Father's. Heavenly Father does not tempt us. He gives us daily struggles to overcome and to become closer to him. Satan uses trickery and deception. The definition of temptation is "to induce or entice, as to something immoral". Its interesting to look at the definition of moral. It means "dealing with, or capable of distinguishing between right and wrong". So to be immoral would mean that you are no longer able to tell right from wrong. Satan tempts us so that when we give in, we are allowing ourselves to start sand-papering away our knowledge of right from wrong.

Isn't that interesting? Would a loving Heavenly Father tempt us? Would he want us to fog our consciences to where we no longer had a sense of right and wrong? No. Heavenly Father sends us trials, the act of being tried. Tried meaning tested, proved, trustworthy. If we fail a trial, it means we haven't been proven. To fail and give into temptation causes much more than failure. It causes our senses to be dulled and our Liahona to stop working. We start to wonder and to forget why we even came out into the wilderness in the first place. Pretty soon old Satan doesn't have to hang around anymore. We have become so immoral (not being able to tell right from wrong) that he no longer has to tempt us. Its as if we stopped walking along the path, decided to twirl in a circle ten times real fast, and then try walking forward again. Most of the time we end up falling on our bums! Satan just laughs, delighted with our now queasy stomachs and dizzy/mixed up heads, and he runs off to find someone else.

If we can be strong and realize that we are not unworthy of our Father's blessings, and realize that temptation in our lives does not mean we are somehow failing. But rather realize that as we take steps closer to Him, Satan is going to do everything in his power to stop us. He is going to throw larger and even more enticing temptations are way to get us to stop our progression.

Satan is powerful, but God outshines him like the Sun to a wee bitty ant. So small in fact, that even us, ourselves here on earth are much grander than a wee ant. Sure the ant can bite, his little friends can follow and start climbing over your feet and legs. But we have the power to smash that little ant. We have the power to turn on the hose and wash all those little ants away.

The hardest thing a guy can ask a girl to do is wait by the mailbox everyday for 2 and a half months waiting for a letter he promised. However, forgiveness almost seems to come automatically when you open up the mailbox with your key and your flipping through the letters of bank statements, bills, army national guard saying "you can!", and then finally-almost surprisingly- you find that one letter you had given up hope would ever come.

Unfortunately, I am still in the middle of this story and have not yet enjoyed the excitement of receiving that letter.

Patience is something I have been learning this summer. No, not from letter waiting....but from nannying. Two to three different families that are all related. I must say, after having kids hit you, bite you in the chest, throw tantrums, throw a whole bucket of beads on the floor, spit up on you 8 times within one hour, running around the house naked, having accidents, sneezing on you right in your face, trying to cut your hair, pulling your clothes to extents you didn't think could be stretched that far... you would think that I would vow to never have children of my own. HAHA! Wouldn't you be surprised to know that I still want ten! You know, to have a five on five basketball game with me as the referee. I was asked once if my husband was in the house baking because where would he play part in all this? All the jobs were taken. I told them that he wouldn't be in the house baking, he would have the lovely job of holding up the home-made basketball hoop! I mean with ten kids, do you really think we could afford a real one???

But in all seriousness, the Lord has truly blessed me this summer with all these opportunities to nanny. I couldn't find a full time job-or any job for that matter. And then I started getting all these calls to start helping out families with their kids. Is it hard? You have no idea. But I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything.... (except may be a family of my own. You know, to brainwash and train them they way I want 'em).

All in all, this summer the Lord has shown me his tender mercies. I feel so undeserving of it all. Why he would bless me so much has me baffled. I only hope that I can do what little I can to show him that I am grateful and love him beyond any imaginative description I can think of.

One Step Closer

July 2, 2009. My grandmother took the last step you can take in this earth life in progressing to become more like our Heavenly Father. She passed away this morning. Remarkably, I am at peace. When the news came, there were no tears. It was an assuagement to know she was no longer in pain.

I had the opportunity to hold her hand the other day and sing her "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". After, she called me her special. I asked her if I was #1 grand-daughter and she just smiled, so I take that as a yes.

It is such a testimony to me that God has a plan for us in this life and the next. The home of my grandmother those few days was filled with the spirit of peace and love. I could feel the spirit so strongly and I know ministering angels were there. You would think to have a loved one on their death bed would be a mournful depressing astomosphere, but quite the contrary. It was a home filled with loved ones gathering together and enjoying the time we had left. It was hard to see her in so much pain, and of course there were tears at times, but overall death cannot win. We may be taken from this life, but we will continue on in the next. I know that in this earth life, God has a specific plan for each of us.

My grandmother is my hero. She served many full-time missions. She served in California, Utah, England, Phillipines...etc. She will forever be an inspiration to me. I love you Grandma.